


A Second Chance

by Lola99



Series: Kiliane's What-Ifs [1]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-30
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 16:26:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1109008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lola99/pseuds/Lola99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kiliane Shepard had died, but through the miracle of science was given a second chance.  Kaidan Alenko had lost the love of his life.  Would he be given the same?  One shot.  Same characters, but AU to my other story, The Shelter of Each Other.  Pure Shenko fluff because Kaidan was demanding it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Second Chance

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: While writing my Shega fic, The Shelter of Each Other, Kaidan started bugging me, asking when he was going to get his chance. So I decided to write a short piece, sort of an alternate ending to my Horizon chapter. You don’t necessarily have to read TSOEO to read this. If you’ve played the game, you know what happened up to and on Horizon and this picks up just after that.  
> My hope is that Kaidan will now leave me alone for a bit and let me finish that story. Then I’ll give him his own. :)  
> Any and all feedback is always greatly appreciated.  
> BioWare owns all, I just can’t leave it alone.

 

* * *

 

 

_He was running as fast as his legs would carry him, but it just didn’t seem fast enough.  He could hear the explosions, the screaming and shouting, all around him.  Searching every face he ran by, he just couldn’t find the one he was looking for.  Finally he saw her, down at the end of a long corridor.  Shouting her name, he started sprinting towards her._

_But the faster he ran, the longer the distance between them became.  She turned towards him and he could see the fear in her eyes.  He could see her lips forming his name, but he couldn’t hear anything.  The walls around them started to disintegrate, and they were slowly being replaced by the black expanse of space.  He pumped his legs faster, but she was still so far away.  Then the floor beneath her disappeared._

_There was nothing that he could do.  She was just beyond his reach and he was suddenly frozen in place.  He screamed her name, watching in horror as she floated away, spinning towards the planet below them._

With her name still on his lips, Staff Commander Kaidan Alenko sat up in his bed, trying to shake off the nightmare.  He’d had the same one many times over the last two years, but over time, it had gradually become less frequent.  At least, it had until one week ago.  He’d had it every single night this past week.  Every single night since he had seen her on Horizon.  Since he had said those hateful things to her.  Since he had turned his back on her and walked away.  

He had been so overwhelmed by everything that had happened that day.  He had not taken the time to think clearly before reacting.  In his hurt and confusion, he had lashed out at her, the woman that he had loved with his whole being.  And he had spent every second of the last week regretting it.

Sighing, he gave up on getting any more sleep and got out of bed.  He headed towards the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.  Seeing his omni-tool sitting on the counter, he considered only briefly before picking it up.  Anderson had given him a way of contacting her, but he hadn’t known what to say.  He still didn’t, but he knew he needed to say _something_.  He sat down and started typing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Commander Kiliane Shepard tossed and turned for another twenty minutes before realizing that she wasn’t going to be getting any sleep tonight.  Again.  She hadn’t gotten much, if any, in the last week.  She kept reliving her conversation with Kaidan on Horizon.  She had known that he would not react well to seeing her there.  But after the ease with which Tali, Garrus and even Anderson had accepted her back, she had allowed herself to feel a small amount of hope.

So when things didn’t go as well as she expected, she had shut down.  His immediate reaction to the hurt he had felt had been anger.  Hers had been to put her walls up.  Looking back on it now, she could see that they had just created a horrible circle.  Her distance just hurt him more, increasing his resentment, which in turn caused her to distance herself even more.  She was afraid that she had pushed him away for good and she honestly didn’t know how to handle that.

Their relationship had really just been starting out when she had died above Alchera.  But it had been filled with wonderful moments, and they had grown incredibly close.  She thought back to the night before Ilos, when he had come to her, and they had clung to each other, not knowing what the final push towards Saren would bring.  She thought back to the shore leave they had taken together immediately after the Battle of the Citadel.  He had gone back to Mindoir with her, visited her childhood home and stood by her side as she visited the graves of her friends and family.  He had spent hours with her, digging through the storage boxes full of her memories.  He had laughed with her and cried with her, and she had fallen completely in love with him.

And then she had died.  Cerberus had rebuilt her body but her life was still gone.  She felt like an empty shell walking around.  Having Joker, Dr. Chakwas and Garrus on the ship had helped immensely, but a large piece was still missing.  And after their encounter on Horizon, she was afraid it always would be.

She was pulled from her thoughts by the chime on her omni-tool, indicating that she had a new message.  Since she wasn’t sleeping, she may as well read it.  She pulled it up and was surprised to see the message was from Kaidan.  Shaking, she pulled up the message and started to read.

 

_Kiliane,_

_I wanted to apologize for the things that I said to you on Horizon.  I was shocked to see you standing in front of me and hurt that I hadn’t heard from you.  I let that stand in the way of listening to you in that moment.  That’s not an excuse-I have none.  I just wanted you to know that I have regretted it every moment since I walked away from you on that planet._

_I’m on the Citadel and I just talked to Anderson.  He told me some of what you have gone through.  I understand that working with Cerberus right now is your only option if you want to go after the Collectors.  And of course you want to go after the Collectors.  You wouldn’t be the woman I fell in love with if you didn’t.  I know that you’re smart enough not to fully trust them, but I still need to say it, for my own peace of mind: Be careful._

_When I lost you two years ago, my whole world fell apart.  I have spent the last two years trying to put it back together, but it was like some vital piece was missing.  Right now it is barely holding together, and I think if something happened to you again, it would never fit back together.  I know I have no right to expect anything from you after the things I said.  And maybe now isn’t the best time, but I don’t want to leave this unsaid:  I love you Kiliane Shepard._

_Please be safe._

_~Kaidan_

 

 

* * *

 

 

After sending the message, Kaidan had paced back and forth for twenty minutes, staring at his omni-tool.  Finally, he realized that it was still the middle of the night and it was crazy for him to expect a reply right away.  Hell, there were many good reasons why he shouldn’t even be expecting a reply at all.  Knowing that he wasn’t going to be getting any sleep if he went back to bed, he decided to get ready for the day.

A shower and several cups of coffee later, he started working.  He had already given a report to both the Council and the Alliance regarding the events on Horizon.  The Alliance had wanted him to put together another report that included recommendations on defenses for some of their other colonies on the edges of the Terminus Systems.  Honestly, after what he had witnessed, he wasn’t sure there was anything they could do to prevent another attack.

He had been working at it for several hours when he was interrupted by a knock at his door.  He wondered who on the Citadel would be visiting him.  He was set up in temporary Alliance officer quarters and very few people even knew he was here.  He got up and made his way towards the front door and looked through the peephole.

She must have turned around to look at something behind her.  He only saw the back of her head, but it didn’t matter.  He’d recognize her anywhere.  Throwing open the door, he found himself staring into those beautiful grey eyes, those brilliant green flecks shining as she just stared back at him.

Neither one of them said anything for a long time.  Kiliane found her voice first.

“I got your message.”

That was it.  Just that one sentence.  But the way she said it, the way she was looking at him, made his heart soar.  He slowly reached up and cupped the side of her face in his hand.  Her eyes closed and she leaned into his touch.

“I missed you.”

She said it so softly that he almost didn’t hear her.  He brought up his other hand and held her face, slowly bringing his lips down to hers.  It was a soft, gentle kiss, almost chaste.  But the way that she trembled and the single tear that slipped down her cheek were evidence to the emotion behind it.  Without a word, he pulled her into the small apartment, led them over to the couch and sat down.

Wiping the tear from her cheek, he said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here?”

“We were actually already on our way to the Citadel to restock our supplies.  When I got your message, I just made sure Joker got us here a little faster.  And Anderson told me where to find you.”

“Well, remind me to thank him later.”

She laughed and he felt some of those missing pieces falling back into place.  She took his hand in her own and turned serious again.

“Kaidan, I owe you an apology as well.  I shut you out on Horizon and that wasn’t fair.  I was just afraid.  It had been two years for you and only a matter of weeks for me.  I didn’t know if you would still feel the same way about me, if you had moved on with your life.  So I acted like I didn’t care, when nothing was further from the truth.  Since the moment I woke up in that Cerberus lab, I have been trying to find you.  And then I did but I made a mess of it.”

“Well, I get a fair bit of credit for that mess myself.  I didn’t exactly encourage you to open up to me.”

“Yeah, but you had every reason to feel hurt and betrayed and I lost sight of that.  I just focused on myself and for that I’m sorry.”

“Then, apology accepted.”

They just sat there for a while, holding hands and staring at each other.  It was a comfortable silence.  They were both just trying to soak in the moment and each other’s presence while they could-they both knew it wouldn’t last.  It was Kaidan who broke the silence this time.

“So, now what?”

“You know that I can’t turn away from my mission and that, unfortunately, working with Cerberus is the only way to complete it.  I know that you can’t go with me.  So, we both have to focus on doing our jobs.  But...tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?”

“I gave my crew twenty-four hours of shore leave, so...tomorrow.  Today we are just Kiliane and Kaidan, nothing else.”

“Mmm.  That sounds nice.  I think today is going to be a good day.”

And with that, he leaned down and claimed her lips with his own.  This kiss was neither soft nor gentle, and it was most certainly not chaste.  It was the kiss of two people who had finally found the pieces of themselves that had been missing for so long.

 

 

* * *

 

 

They spent the rest of the day wrapped up in each other.  They talked, about everything and nothing.  They laughed and cried together.  They made love like they would never have the chance again.  That night, they both slept better than they had in two years.  The next morning came entirely too fast and they found themselves standing together on the dock in front the Normandy.

“Kaidan, I don’t know what this mission is going to bring, but I want you to know that-”

He silenced her by placing his finger on her lips.

“Shh.  Just go do what you do best.  I know that you will find a way to defeat the Collectors and stop the attacks on our colonists.  And I know that you’ll find a way to make it back to me after you do.”

“How can you have so much faith in me after everything?”

“It’s because of everything that we’ve seen, that we’ve been through, and because of the fact that you came back to me after it all.  That’s how I know that you will again.”

She smiled up at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a soft kiss against his lips.  

“I don’t deserve you.”

“No, you deserve so much better.  Unfortunately, I’m selfish and don’t care.  I have you and I don’t plan on letting you go.”

She laughed and gazed into the hazel eyes that she loved so much.  And as she did, she realized that he was right.  She _would_ come back to him, because there was no greater force in the galaxy than the love she felt for this man.

They held each other a few minutes longer, savoring those last few seconds before they needed to go back to reality.  After one last kiss good-bye, Kaidan watched her walk away from him and back towards her ship.  Before entering the docking tube, she turned to look back at him one last time.  He smiled and nodded at her, and she smiled back before entering the tube and disappearing from sight.  He stood and watched as the Normandy disengaged from the dock, took off and faded from view.  

The last time he had watched her fly away, he had been standing on Horizon.  His head had been trying to make sense of everything that had happened and his heart had been breaking into a million pieces.  This time, he finally felt like his world was making sense again.  And his heart felt whole for the first time in two years.

As he turned to make his way off the dock, he heard his omni-tool beep with an incoming message.  Looking down, he read it and smiled.  Yes, everything was finally as it should be.

 

_I’m coming back to you, and I’m going to need an epic vacation.  I’m letting you know now so you can start planning. ; )_

_See you soon._

_All my love,_

_Kiliane_

 


End file.
